I met him at a party, which was far away from home. He was tall and danced like a mad man and that was kind of cute? You couldn’t help but notice him, his limbs went all over the place and he took up space on the dance floor. He asked me to dance. I felt good in my yellow quilted bell-bottom pants and my black ribbed turtleneck sweater. My hair was long then and dark with honey coloured bits in it. He told me that he’d never take out a girl who lived so far away. In my heart I knew that he would call me…. it took a long time before it happened.
‘I’ve just moved house, so I’ve been busy. Bought a place with a couple of mates. I’d like to see you”…my heart jumped!
We were married 12 months later and living in that house with his mates; five of us altogether. They all worked but I was still studying, in my last year of kindergarten teacher training. I’d get home earlier than them and go to bed for a snooze. We’d all eat together and often play cards or chat. When they went to bed I’d stay up and study. The house was quiet then and I could think.
We moved out into our own place after I’d been teaching for a while. We began renovating the new old house, scraping off layers of wallpaper and ripping up lino and more layers of old newspapers. The stories we read were so funny.It was good doing this together, deciding on how we would decorate and being brave in it and a little risky.
We put up silver wallpaper and lots of brightly coloured fabric and paint. It was a small home but comfortable and there was a great sense of community in the town. It was a long way from the beach where I had spent many days baking in the sun and ogling at surfers and lifesavers, but he’d sold it to me well. He had grown up in the area and told me that people never moved unless it was to a different house in the same area. It was so good there!
There were lots of parties and concerts and life was fun. Music, dancing, card games and holidays. We liked the same music and taught each other about different things. I learnt how to play new card games. I enjoyed the tennis and going to art galleries. He liked to visit wineries. We had many shared adventures.
The little home was not big enough for a family and 3 days before our daughter was born we moved again to a larger house with a lovely garden adjacent to a local reserve. We had Tawny frogmouths in the back yard and lots of critters visiting. The house was in a court so really good for children to play in safety. 3 more children meant the fruition of my dream of family that I had never experienced. I was happy and pretty busy.
My husband worked in the local community and I felt proud of his community involvement. I supported his ventures. He was a good Dad and continued to be a good party animal. Community involvement grew and he joined Rotary and the reserve committee of management. He also became involved in his professional community.
Meanwhile I was at home with the children. I became involved in the kindergarten parent committee and then the school parent group. I was also the chauffeur. We had chosen an alternative school for the children and it wasn’t local. Driving was for play dates too.
I needed to know more about the school ‘s philosophy so started to go to lectures and then began teacher training. I also started doing self-development work. It was the time of New Age stuff, and there was an abundance of workshops and weekend retreats to go to.
Our lives had drifted in different directions and arguments began. I went searching for family patterns to see what I needed to own. I found some skeletons in the closet. He wasn’t interested in them, too busy in his own stuff.
The economic downturn occurred about the same time and our financial situation changed dramatically. He was no longer the good provider.
Our marriage ended. The crazy dancer wasn’t dancing with me any longer.